MOVIES MITCH CAN'T WAIT TO MISS
Southland Tales
Director: Richard Kelly
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Sarah Michelle Gellar
November 16th

Oh, Richard Kelly. Thank you so much for Donnie Darko. If you hadn't done that, Jake Gyllenhaal may have very well faded into forgotten ineptitude like you should. Then, Domino, Keira Knightley's breakout role. Notch two in the screenplay belt that you will soon recognize will never be tight enough to hold up the pants into which you're trying so hard to fit. When we thought you were all out of good ideas, you make a post-apocalyptic Los Angeles based multi-narrative with the perfect ensemble cast: The Rock, that American Pie guy, Buffy, and Mandy Moore.

All signs point to this film being Kelly's return to the quality we expect from the man who brought us Donnie Darko. Seriously. Tales was completed nearly 2 years ago and was shelved by the studio. It is also rumoured to have taken the most sought after admonishment at Cannes in 2006, the worst received film. To compensate, he shaved some thirty minutes off the nearly three hour running time, but kept the Justin Timerlake musical interlude.

Expect:
- Indy-pop culture references
- Characters that are strange (misunderstood) for the sake of being strange
- Actors who act by not acting (aka misunderstood)
- Unresolved plot elements meant to make us 'think'
- A fervent following of pompous pretention proclaiming 'You just don't get it'
- Shit.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...

Shame on you, Dick.

by Mitch