Milla Jovovich's command of English explains baby name, Shyamalan is afraid of deer, Garth Brooks is successful (and Christianity is dead).

In their professional lives “actress” Milla Jovovich* and “director” Paul W. S. Anderson** conspired to provide us with Resident Evil. But congratulations are now due the engaged couple in their personal lives, for they have forged a baby daughter. Though gender is certainly not apparent given the Ever Gabo Anderson moniker bestowed upon it. You're probably thinking "with a name like Shadie, who is he to...", but at least my parents didn't fuck with my name for media attention.
*=if anyone cares, it’s pronounced Yo-Vo-Vitch;
**=if anyone cares it’s pronounced ‘Talentless Filmmaker behind AvP’.

M. Night Shyamalan, famous for writing Stuart Little has won a court case to keep an 8-foot fence erected around his property in Philadelphia. Neighbours’ complaints about “ugliness, ruined views and adverse effects on property values” referred not the director himself, but to the “monstrous fence” which protects Mr. M from deer. Gratuitous Twist Ending: the deer are really ghosts of dead horses.

Garth Brooks becoming the best-selling solo artist in history. He has sold 123 million units in his career, beating out Elvis Presley. This must end right now. Regardless, he was awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, to which he responded: “This award reflects the magnitude of the country audience and what they can accomplish when they act together." Yeah. Like lynch mobs.

A recent British study has shown that more people re-read the Harry Potter books than the Bible. This reminds me of the time that thousands of people, including myself, put Jedi on a UK census, getting it recognised as an official religion, when some legitimate creeds were not. OK, it doesn't really remind me of that, but I wanted to tell that story.