Woody Allen is a perv. We know this because of his relationship with his adopted daughter. But now the 73 y.o. auteur has written a lesbian sex scene between Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson. Fresh from directing two of the worst accents in screen history* in Cassandra's Dream, the diminutive neurotic has directed a scene for upcoming Vicky Cristina Barcelona in which the two young starlets "will leave the audience gasping". How smutty.

*= Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell play East London Boy brothers; the former sounds like a posh git trying to do a lebbage accent and the latter sounds like an Irish twat trying to do a lebbage accent. Fancy that.