Vatican Officials (presumably Catholic) have ordered a boycott of the anti-Christian Golden CompASS, as it “promotes a cold and hopeless world without God”. Sounds like London. Maybe filmmakers can blame the official newspaper L’Osservatore Romano for the film’s disastrous box office takes, which have put in jeopardy the sequels, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass. The editorial claimed the film as “the most anti-Christian film possible”. I would beg to differ. Had the director Chris Weitz, who also made American Pie, rewritten the script to include a scene in which Jesus fucks Lucifer in the ass (Lucifer being a metaphor for Apple Pie), it would be more thoroughly un-Christian. And probably a better film. Though no longer for kids so much.

Kevin Kline sold his nose for $3000. But the money was for charity. Apparently Kline, playing the titular Cyrano de Bergerac on Broadway, sells his prosthetic proboscis in an auction each night, and last week saw a record figure. I think it’s kind of weird.