The annoucement that Guillermo Blade 2 Del Mimic Toro is to helm The Hobbit isn't incredibly exciting, but it's better than some of the other names that have been discussed on message-boards:

Joel Schumacher - Bilbo's mithril is designed as a butt-hugging S&M knock-off, with holes around the nipple areas. Elron is still played by Hugo Weaving, but utilising his costume from Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

George Lucas - the whole film is a two-shot of Bilbo and Gandalf as various blue-screened computerised gimmicks fly and run through the background. Takes 9 months and $250M to make.

Robert Rodriguez - the whole film is a two-shot of Bilbo and Gandalf as various green-screened comic-book looking gimmicks fly and run through the background. With lots of cussing. And misogyny. Takes 9 days and $250k to make.

M. Night Shyamalan - unbeknownst to inhabitants, The Shire is really an amusement park in Houston. And Gandalf is a ghost.

Spike Lee - noted for a scene in which Thorin Oakenshield rants about various factions of dwarves, using a variety of colorful and descriptive insults.

Tim Burton - Sr. Depp plays an all-singing, all-dancing and incredibly iconoclastic Gollum. Helena Bonham-Carter voices Smaug. It's rated PG-13 and is decreed not as good as the original.

David Lynch - shot on a camera-phone, this surrealist piece is told - through a series of dream sequences - from the perspective of a slug that tried to lift the ring, but was squashed by Smeagol.

David Cronenberg - rather than subjecting him to riddles, Gollum makes Bilbo indulge in some really weird sex, after which Bilbo is plagued by flashbacks of the spider attack sequence.

Michael Bay - final shot is a slow-mo low-angle of Bilbo on dragon-back, flying into a filtered orange sunset. Steve Buscemi plays a wily troll.