Fabio and Batman have gotten into a fight in front of the Queen of England and the psycho from Goodfellas. Apparently Fabio was dining with mates at LA’s Madeo, when they started an impromptu photo session. George Clooney was at a nearby table, and thought they were taking shots of him with girlfriend Sarah Larson. Fabio went over to try to explain, and ended up yelling “I thought you were a nice guy. Stop being a Diva”. For real. Fabio called someone a Diva. The world’s worst living Batman apparently stormed out, as fellow diners Dame Helen Mirren and Joe Pesci looked on. “George is lucky he didn’t end up in the ER”, said the ridiculously haired Italian, the irony of Clooney’s TV origins probably lost on him. I have included a picture of Fabio for your amusement, and want to remind readers of 1998 commercial for ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’.

UPDATE: Fabio's manager, several hours later, has added the quip "Clooney started on ER and Fabio was going to send him back there". That's really one you either say at the time, or keep to yourself.

Meanwhile in other Clooney related news, London’s Madame Tussauds Wax Museum has had to replace the Brad Pitt and George Clooney models. “Brad’s bum was in a bad way” said a spokesperson, because “visitors kept pinching Brad's bottom” and “George’s cheeks were covered with lipstick”. And this after only one day!

This just amuses me. Apparently the first day Morgan Freeman filmed alongside Casey Affleck on Gone Baby Gone, the Edison Force star had to lecture the younger Affleck for fifteen minutes about being late and being professional! Affleck, whose casting in big bro Ben’s directorial debut in no way resembles nepotism, made Morgan wait for over half an hour. And with the size of those personal trailers they get these days, it must have been torture.

You know those sequels where they can’t afford to bring back the original cast? Like Jonathan Schaech replacing Nic Cage in the imaginatively titled 8MM 2 (btw, he also starred in Road House 2: Last Call, made 17 years after the original Patrick Swayze flick)? Or Jason Bateman playing Michael J. Fox’s cousin in the Teen Wolf sequel? Anyway, few may remember 1992’s The Cutting Edge in which former hockey hero D. B. Sweeney pairs up with Moira Kelly to win the Winter Olympics. I just found Cutting Edge: Going For The Gold, which sees the two who-body's daughter, played by Christy Carlson Romano, competing in the Olympics. The movie also features a no-doubt slimmer Erik Aude’s first film performance since his two year incarceration in Pakistan on opium possession charges. Oh how we barely noticed he was gone.

Charlie’s Angel Farrah Fawcett may have anal cancer (ouch!), but she’s still fulfilling her role as the blondest bimbo in a box of blunt tools. She’s been spending a lot of her time in Germany, due to stem cell research being legal in the Land of Tight Leather Shorts. When asked by reporters what Germany was like, she articulated her thoughts in one profound sentence … “it’s full of Germans”.

Britney is too easy of a target right now, so I’ll just give you this one-liner: she locked her two sons in the car to go shopping for chandeliers.

Meanwhile, Shia LaBeouf deserves Tool of the Week, for being arrested at a Chicago Walgreen’s. Fresh from pissing me off for existing, let alone getting cast in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (sidenote: bafflingly silly title), he refused to leave the store at 2am so security had to call in the police. Shia, whose last name almost means ‘The Beef’, cites Saving Silverman(known overseas as Evil Woman) as one of his favourite movies, which may explain some of his strange career choices.